I haven't written for awhile. Not from a lack of time, or ideas. But because I haven't known how to express the insane amounts of information, emotions, and ideas running through my head. I have known I needed to make some sort of life change I just haven't figured out what the change is, or how to make it.
I have known for a couple years now what it is I ultimately want out of life. It hasn't been a secret to any of those who know me very well. To be a wife and a mom is what I want. Unfortunately, not something you can order online, save up for, or study to achieve. It requires a twist of fate. A twist I haven't found yet.. so in the meantime, what is it I want to do? Move? new job? school? all of the above? beats me... I guess that would be the problem.
Here is the list of random ideas I have had, none of which I have been able to commit to and pursue, I know, shocking ;]
-Montana
-Arizona
-Utah
-Wyoming
-CNA
-Hair school
-Receptionist
-Waitress
And thats just the beginning of the list... No rhyme or reason, I know. Now if I could just follow my heart and find some peace in myself. Wish me luck. In time it will come. In the mean time I need to stop wanting to fall in love, my heart is tender and my spirit is broken at the moment. For now I just need to be me, and that just has to be good enough.
much love,
xoxo
-D.
